Forgiver, forgive thyself! A necessary lesson for this girl anyway.

"Forgiveness" by Carlos Latuff.

Image via Wikipedia

Well March is here and FINALLY!  Spring is right around the corner, literally!  With it comes a weekend that I look forward to each year.  It is a time to reflect, a time to spend with my sister and a time when I can do some quality ‘sister bonding’.  It’s a Christian Women’s retreat.  I know, I’m not necessarily what you would call a ‘Holy Roller’ but I do like listening to the speakers and I do get inspired.  There is always something to be learned.

Now that being said, I did spend quite a bit of time with a bunch of Christian women and was inspired.  All though I was raised in the faith, I wouldn’t necessarily restrict myself to the label of ‘Christianity’ alone.  My belief is that we are all pure energy when we enter this world and that there is no ‘right’ way or ‘wrong’ way to get to the ‘here after’ as it has been referred to.  I not only believe that our beings continue, I know it with every fiber of my ‘being’.  And to know something means not having to defend it.  So, I will just leave it at that, no defense necessary.

All in all it was a great weekend.  However, I found that with so many seeming interested in my soul, when I spoke with them; I found them somewhat cold and condescending.  I found that extremely interesting.  Now, not everyone was (or is) this way, I know.  But, if you are going to promote a ‘sales pitch’ of saving my (or anyone’s) soul and praying for my sins and accepting Jesus Christ; I mean, c’mon.  Can’t you be a bit warmer about it?

A whole lot of warring is going on over Religion all over the world, still; and truly?  We are ALL life source energy; so why argue over it? Now the fact that we are life source energy is no accident and you can’t tell me different that there is a ‘Higher Power’ or a ‘God’ or ‘Supreme Being’ (whatever).  But I truly don’t see why it would require that we ask some magnificent being for forgiveness so that we can continue on after leaving this life.  But, perhaps the asking for forgiveness is so that we can more easily forgive ourselves.  [Ah!  That puts a different ‘twist’ on things, doesn’t it?]

Forgiveness is a necessary act.  But it’s more for the ‘forgiver’ than the ‘forgivee’ (ok… not a word but you get my point…).  In other words it is a completely selfish act, but a necessary one if we are to move on to finish the healing process.  And, this includes forgiving ourselves.

I’ve had to face much of this, especially these past few years.  Leaving my husband was a tough decision and one that, as you know, I didn’t take lightly.  And, as with all marriages, there are two sides.  I am as much to blame as he for the failure of our marriage.   And as such, must come to accept my part and forgive myself for my mistakes.

But that is never easy, is it?  Especially for us women; I mean we will put up with some of the most outrageous actions that friends or loved ones will pull and forgive it.  Not a problem.  But when it comes to our own transgressions, we will carry that guilt to our graves.

Yea, I do believe when they speak of asking for forgiveness, that it has a much more profound meaning; much deeper.  We hold the true power within ourselves to forgive, and we need to practice that with ourselves as well as with others.  Guilt is a wasted emotion and one that will kill us when allowed to rule our lives.  We can’t change what has been done or what will be done.  We can only control what is, now.  I remind myself of this every night before I sleep and every morning when I wake.


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