As you know, I’ve finally taken the plunge! I’ve done dived into the dating pool and went out on Date #1. All in all it went well; all great until I heard “so, how about you take care of the tip?”… Excuse me? Back up the bus a minute. Let me set the stage: he chose the venue, ordered for us (right down to the certain wine he wanted to drink). I would have been happy with the crab and artichoke dip and some bread (yum!). But no, he pulled out all the stops and ordered 2 of the more expensive meals on the menu (I just wanted appetizers).
Now, I’m all for going ‘Dutch’ and have no problem at all with that. But… when you choose the venue, you set the stage and take it upon yourself to order the’ vittles’; sounds to me like our little escapade is on you. Am I wrong? So, I placed my card on top of his, and when the waitress came by? I handed her the folder with our check and our credit cards, whispering “would you kindly just split this and place half on each card?” You should have seen the look on his face, he muttered “that’s really generous of you…” to which I didn’t bat an eye and continued on with our discussion. I was not going to give him the satisfaction of ‘doing me a favor’ (pay the tip!).
Anyway, rule #1: make the payment terms known up front, if this is a ‘Dutch’ date; not a problem. Most people shouldn’t have an issue with that. But give a person some notice before ordering over $100.00 of appetizers and wine (yea… a pretty hefty happy hour bill, but we were there for 4 hours). So, payment terms? Make them known up front. There are many of us that haven’t dated in over a decade (much has changed, believe me).
Rule #2: if you are going to put your profile out there, be sure you have a picture or at least one to send when you contact someone. I realize this may seem ‘superficial to many of you and that so many people lie and that many pics aren’t of the actual person (that does happen). But c’mon… for us ladies, it gets a bit creepy to receive an email from an ‘unknown’ person. I mean really, would you want to receive something looking like this?
If you won’t put up a picture or send one, what are you hiding?
Oh, and about those pics; please have someone else take them. I’ve seen guys (girls too) that are sitting literally in front of the mirror with their phone (really?), or how about the ones that take the picture from their computer of profile and front? I’m serious; it is not a good look when it looks like a mug-shot (just saying). Just try to put yourself in our shoes and work up a nice picture that is inviting (a ‘mug-shot’ does not promote that warm and fuzzy feeling; you know?)
Rule #3: this is a ‘dating’ site, not a porn site. We don’t want the casual, “what are you doing?” (especially when it’s connected to the picture above…), or how about; “watcha doin’ later?” Say it with me, ‘eeyew!’ Should making the old ‘booty call’ be the Number 1 reason for your being there? I’m sure there are sites for just that. Don’t waste my time.
Rule #4: have fun and realize that not everyone is for everyone. If you can’t handle rejection, perhaps you shouldn’t be on the intent in the first place. Now, I’ve not found anyone to be extremely rude, but they have gotten quite ‘snippy’ with me when they start going off about all the ‘bad’ blood out there (blah ,blah, blah). This is supposed to be fun; keep it that way.
For the most part, I’m relearning that there is someone for everyone and this takes time. I’ve gone about it with the intention of simply meeting a new friend. Should things work out and go further? So be it. However, I’m determined to do it differently this time. I do deserve love and respect and there are things I expect and I have no intention of forgetting that, not this time. I think looking at this as an opportunity of meeting new friends and not as meeting ‘the one’ I’ll be open to many more opportunities.