There was once this couple, who placed everything they had (EVERYTHING they had)
down onto a home. I remember the day they finally found THE house. He called her at work after weeks of exhausted searches, none of which would come to light or even really be ‘the one’. Then she gets the call, “honey, you are never going to believe this house. I feel like it is just what we have been looking for; I feel like it is…us. You just have to see it, when can you see it?” She, looking through the work on her desk, hems and haws, ” well, I can be out there at lunch.”
As she drives up with the realtor, it’s as if she has been at this house before. Almost as if this home was meant for them (beckoning to them). With each step she took up the walk way, through the front door, through to the back yard. She gasped at the view, “how beautiful”, she thought. “Here, check out the bonus room, I think we can use this as our T.V. room; what do you think Sweetie?” Her husband asked her. She took one look around and replied with a grin, “it should be great, I think we should be able to get everything to fit in here just fine.” As she stepped through the home, with each step and into each room, she knew this house was theirs. It was a one story ranch style home with three bedrooms and two baths; perfect to start the family they wanted.
So much promise was in our hearts when we moved into that little ranch style home (God we loved that house, the view). Little did we know how everything would work out. Our marriage is now nearing divorce and the home that we once loved is nearing Foreclosure. Who would ever have known this would have happened; who could have predicted?
I just received this news from my ex and was surprisingly calm about the whole thing. It is, after all, just ‘stuff’. That’s all it is, really. We go round and round in this life, making purchases from gum to shoes to cars to homes; all with the intent of ‘owning’ it all, as if we can really truly own a part or piece of this earth. We are merely borrowers of the real estate we inhabit, that’s all.
This loss means more than the real estate or ‘stuff’ for me. It’s the loss or the final nail in the coffin (if you will) of our marriage and our life together as a family, a couple. This journey has taken, and continues to take many steps for me and my self discovery. I’ve said before that I’m uncertain of my path before me (aren’t we all most of the time?). But I’m relieved that this phase of my life is finally coming to a close, that worry is done (for now anyway).
I can move forward, enjoy the holidays. Concentrate on the importance of the holiday; family, friends and helping the community. Staying out of my ‘head’ as much as possible might not be such a bad idea and could prove to be most therapeutic (I’ll save the “in head” stuff for my sessions; wink, wink).
This reminds me of the prayer: Lord grand me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change; the courage to change the things I can and the wisdom to know the difference.
It’s a great reminder, especially now. One day at a time, and one step at a time starting from where I am… All in due time.
- ‘Tis Every Season (claresa.net)