He’s Just Not That ‘Into’ You… or is he?

Lately I’ve had a slew of male interests (well… if you call 3 men a slew…), and personally I’m not too happy with the results.  Now is it me or should the man be doing the pursuing when establishing the relationship?  You remember my journey of 400 miles last month?  Well, he hardly called, and when he did he would seem to catch me while I was  out and (here’s the kicker) he never left any messages.

We just got off the phone last night, had a huge fight (it is definitely over-friendship and all… I doubt he wants anything to do with me).  But I told him that it was clear to me that he was not that into me; why?  He hardly called.  To which he replied that he was waiting for me to.  Now, the way I figure it and this was what I told him (in between his ranting), “if you are into a woman, as much as you say you are into me, you wouldn’t wait for calls from me.  You would text, call (what ever), saying ‘hey, just thinking about you’, or ‘can’t get my mind off you honey’, or [fill in the blank]… you wouldn’t be waiting on calls…  Plus, what is this about the calls and no voice mail?  What?  I can’t hear your voice; you can’t tell me how much you miss me?  You can’t be vulnerable?  That’s not necessarily giving me that warm fuzzy feeling that says ‘he desires you, call him back’, that’s controlling and bull sh@t!”

So, I have issues and he’s the poor hurt, broken soul.  I’ve broken his heart and am a beast of a woman, or so I’ve been made to feel.  So, my question to you is; is all this stuff that they say about the guys and dating really true?  If a man is ‘into’ a woman, will he truly move heaven and earth to contact her and be with her?  Well, according to my pole of friends and strangers (mostly men), they all said “yes”.  If the guy isn’t calling/texting/emailing (some form of contact) or if he is only calling you late at night and only occasionally, “he’s not that into you, you should move on.”

As if that isn’t enough, I thought I’d take a looksee at the book He’s Just Not That Into You by Greg Behrendt, I found the following:

“If a man is really into you, nothing will stop him from being with you – including a fear of intimacy.”

“It’s about the guy who wants you, calls you, makes you feel sexy and desired fully. He wants to see you more and more often because every time he sees you, he likes and then loves you more and more.”

“If he’s not calling you, it’s because you are not on his mind. If he creates expectations for you, and then doesn’t follow through on little things, he will do same for big things. Be aware of this and realize that he’s okay with disappointing you. Don’t be with someone who doesn’t do what they say they’re going to do. If he’s choosing not to make a simple effort that would put you at ease and bring harmony to a recurring fight, then he doesn’t respect your feelings and needs. “Busy” is another word for “asshole.” “Asshole” is another word for the guy you’re dating. You deserve a fucking phone call.”
Greg Behrendt

So, I guess I’ve answered my own question, (well, still upset at the outcome and never wanted hurt feelings or a friendship to have ended this way).  But I’ll not waste anymore tears as this did leave me crying in my pillow last night (good God how corny!).  We truly weren’t made for each other… that certainly was clear; he just didn’t want to hear it.

So, I’m certainly going through ‘em like water aren’t I?  Is this worth it?  Hmm,  I wonder.  I just won’t settle, not anymore and I guess my actions are making that abundantly clear, aren’t they?

Dating is not a sport for the fragile or lackadaisical; no siree,  one must stick to their guns and stay focused on what they want (I guess…).  Still, I’m not so sure this ‘dating thing’ is for me.  Not yet – just too hard.  But I’m still standing and proud!  And that girl/woman in the mirror?  She is becoming more of a beauty queen each and every day and I like her very much (issues and all).


5 thoughts on “He’s Just Not That ‘Into’ You… or is he?

  1. I’m so sorry you found someone (and invested in him!) who wasn’t into you. Don’t bother wasting your pretty. Move on and find a good one. They’re out there!
    Thanks for the link back to my blog post. MUCH appreciated


  3. Pingback: He’s just not that into you if…. « JahsWorld

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