That has been the question of the week and it is one that I’ve struggled with my whole life as I stand yet again at another crossroad. Crossroads come to us throughout our lives and at the most unexpected times. The trick is to follow your heart and to go forth with faith; but many (myself included) go forth with fear and turn left instead of right or go along the same path, refusing to make any change at all. As many of you know, I had been contracted to work for a firm these last four months; well, that contract ended and they decided not to continue it. This left me with many questions such as: am I too old? Perhaps I’ve grown too rigid in my processes and my dealings with other people. I mean, let’s face it, I call it as I see it and there aren’t too many that appreciate that kind of honesty.
This last job I found that I was faced with envy, stupidity and pride. Now I know that stupidity isn’t part of the seven deadly sins, but if I had anything to do with it, it would be right up there with envy and pride, especially when in the form of a boss/supervisor. In my recent job, although I knew more about the industry than my co-worker there were still many things I could have learned from her. Our relationship could have been a delightful one filled with a daily exchange of knowledge. Instead, she was threatened of someone else stealing her thunder (or so I was told by some of her long time co-workers). She was the prime example of “only by dousing out your flame, will mine burn that much brighter”; where the proper way, in my book, would be “you have an idea, I have an idea; we each have one idea. But if we share those ideas, we will each have two.”
I’m afraid it wasn’t my lack of work ethic that caused my demise, it was the ego of three individuals; all of whom were trying to hold on to their own identity, or what they thought was their identity. Many of us go through life thinking that we are our jobs, that what we do for a living defines us in some way. And when that is threatened or taken away, we don’t know what to do with ourselves or our lives. Our careers somehow become all-encompassing, that the ego takes over, so much so that it can undermine the possible good that is standing right in front of us.
So, here I stand at this crossroad unsure where to go. Should I go left or should I go right. I’m pretty sure that I shouldn’t go along the same stale path I’ve followed these last fifty years, though it is tempting as that would be extremely safe; wouldn’t it? It would, but instead I think I will take a different turn and finally take the leap of faith for once; the risk and see where it leads. Will I fail? Could be; but at least I will have learned something along the way and I will be in a different direction than I’m headed now.
I’ve toyed with an idea for a business for about a decade now (I know… talk about fearful!). But I believe the Universe is finally getting through my thick skull that the stars are in alignment and that the timing is perfect for me to take this leap once and for all. It is never good to go back; we must continue to move forward. Surge on and have faith in our dreams, one step at a time. My problem is that I tend to think of the whole project all at once and get overwhelmed with the whole idea. I need to remind myself of the old adage that Rome wasn’t built in a day and that a journey of a thousand miles starts with the first step.
So, this week I make my move into my apartment (an extremely exciting time). Once I’m settled in, I can start drawing up my business plan, doing my research (or is that visa versa?). Anyway, I can get to work. I am liking the direction of this new life and know that (hope that) I will be a far better boss than the ones I’ve had recently. Once you know what it is you want, you can move mountains. There are times in my life (such as recently) where I’ve felt I just don’t belong anywhere. I’m useless, unemployable; then the reminder of my business idea came to mind. And right behind it came doubt. I found this quote and it is something I will keep with me (along with many others I assure you).
“Here’s to the crazy ones. The misfits. The rebels. The troublemakers. The round pegs in the square holes. The ones who see things differently. They’re not fond of rules. And they have no respect for the status quo. You can quote them, disagree with them, glorify or vilify them. About the only thing you can’t do is ignore them. Because they change things. They push the human race forward. And while some may see them as the crazy ones, we see genius. Because the people who are crazy enough to think they can change the world, are the ones who do.”
― Apple Inc.
Now, I’m now Steve Jobs, I do relate to this and will make my own round hole to fit into; all the while reminding myself that I am an individual with many great qualities that many admire. This journey shall be a glorious one indeed, taken one step at a time.
- Remember to think different… (theninaproject.wordpress.com)