Piece by piece, my apartment is getting back into shape. My girlfriend (one of my bestie’s) took me shopping on Friday and we stocked up on even more wonderful things. Slowly but surely, my color scheme is coming together and my individual style is flowing back into the forefront. We had a fabulous day that started in the morning and ended at sunset – yep we shopped ALL DAY LONG. That’s just what I needed.
We girls have all types of friends. Some that can be that shoulder to cry on, some we can be silly with and laugh for hours; and then there are those that have chosen as their personal “cardio” – shopping. It takes a certain individual that can withstand three hours in one store – yep… three hours! Painstakingly going through the aisles looking for just the right tables, towels, artwork. Then, onto lunch and onto more shopping at one of her favorite accessory shops – I really must have bling when I perform, right? Then, onto yet another fabulous boutique. It was a perfect day…
Shopping truly can be good for the soul. As you know, I’ve been through a whirlwind of emotions. An offer has been made on Kimball’s house and we have accepted it – as that chapter starts to close, the emotions are just starting to rise for Elizabeth. She has been very strong and extremely steady through this whole phase; but I know that this can’t have been easy for her. Out of we four siblings, I’ve always been the one who carried my heart on my sleeve, crying at the drop of a hat.
Why, just this last Saturday, I was rehearsing with my guitarist, who suggested we go over Gershwin’s Our Love Is Here To Stay… For those of you who are unfamiliar with the background of this song, it is really a love song by Ira to his brother George after George’s untimely death. George wrote the music, Ira wrote the lyrics some time later. Anyway, when I sang this for the first time, I was accompanied by my keyboardist – an extremely talented woman introduced to me through Kimball and, as life would dictate, just so happens to be riffed with a family illness and is on hiatus (I do miss her) – we decided to dedicate that performance to my sister Kimball, who, after completing a year of chemo and was now back to work would be in the audience… Little did I know then that we would be without her today. Flash forward to Saturday; somewhere mid lyric, that vision of Kimball’s head, the crown of her brunette locks glistening in the low lights of the local pub, appeared in my mind’s eye and I choked… I was able to breathe through it, but it’s moments like those that just appear – and then they pass. You can only breathe through it.
Elizabeth is much more reserved, hiding that part of her heart. She appears very tough; however, she is much like the artichoke… hard thorns mask the very tender (albeit delicious) heart the lies within, and when allowed, through patience and in time, the bloom is breathtaking. Elizabeth and I have not really talked – we tried a bit over the 4th of July week when we were doing all of the clearing and cleaning and there were moments when it was just us two. But we haven’t really had the chance to talk about how she is doing – perhaps she isn’t ready to open that wound yet as there is still so very much to be done in this process known as “probate”… Just LOVE the California court system. I will keep the faith that she will reach out when she is ready.
Writing this, I’m reminded at just how unpredictable life is – I know “another brilliant observation, Ann!” But, when I look back and have moments similar to those this weekend – remembering how far we looked to the future – so much has changed. So much! There is another friend of mine, we were to rehearse and pull together a show and CD – all to be done this week and next; he called to inform me that he was biking and out of nowhere, someone opened their car door and bam! He hit it head on… broke his hip! He is now residing in the local hospital. You simply don’t know what life will hand you.
But dream we do and worry… So much can change in a day, a week, six months or even a couple of years. The dreaming is fine, but I’ll save the worry for another day. So the next time worry comes to mind? To quote my favorite heroine of one of my favorite love stories of all time – Miss Scarlet O’Hara – “I’ll think about that tomorrow.” I have to shop!