Am I What I Dream To Be? (how do we know?)

pathwayWe all have dreamt of being something in our lives… Some of us it was of being doctors, other’s had dreams of being teachers, while other’s dreamt of being performers.  I always dreamt of performing and somehow got side-tracked on the insurance career (boring!).  Now that I’ve been blogging for almost three years, I’ve come to realize that I have a voice and wonder, is it outlandish to think of myself as a writer?

I do write, even write for others, and do so with much excitement and enthusiasm; often times I can’t wait to get to my computer and see what comes out onto the screen.  But what makes us the career of our choice?  Is it special schooling, scholastic accomplishments and awards?  Or is it simply the desire to do (with the obvious know-how – obviously one must have a certain knowledge).  I often wish I were like my sister Kimball, she knew what she wanted to do with her life at a very young age.  Her desire was teaching.

Now, my desire was performing (acting, singing, dancing).  I was quite good at it – if I do say so myself.  Got quite a few awards at the local and state level.  Why I didn’t take that trip to New York and follow my dreams I just don’t know.  But we can’t go back.  I now have a new dream and I no longer need to keep that child in me happy.  So what makes us our dream?  I wish there were a manual for this ‘life’ stuff; you know the kind?  Something that you can flip through to the section under “How Do You Know If You Are XYZ?”  And voila!  You have all the bullet points’ right there, neatly listed.  Boy wouldn’t that be keen, huh?!

Unfortunately life doesn’t work that way, you must have confidence in yourself.  Ah, yes, that ‘confidence’ thing.  You can get all the outside support you need, but unless you truly believe in yourself, you really are going blind.  And I guess you could say I’m at that place – again.  I’m at that plane in life called “doubt” and I’m not so sure how to get out of it.  I’m doubting everything about myself.

It used to be that I had my dear older sister Kimball who was in my corner, plugging me along; and perhaps that is where much of this doubt is coming from.  I’m alone for the first time and I really must go on my gut – my own gusto.  I can no longer go on outside influences.  But how does one pull that self-confidence in?  How do you rein it in and keep it around you like a bubble?

Reading this, one might think I’m down; I’m not, not at all.  I’m just trying to figure out if I’m on the right road, have I chosen the right path?  There are many that tell me yes, but still I doubt.  I’m filled with questions of, “what makes me so special?”  I’m plagued with thoughts of –“If I can do it, anyone can…”  Is this normal?  And I began to think back at my other dreams and realized that those thoughts plagued me then too.

So, I’m faced yet again with this question; do I have what it takes to write professionally?  And, is there any such thing?  Well, there are the obvious jobs out there, the article/editorial writers, the social media posters, the professional bloggers.  But, perhaps it’s simply the desire to play with words and painting a picture with them.  I found a blog Jeff Goins Writer where he explains the difference between good writers and bad writers.  In it he states, The difference between good writers and bad writers has little to do with skill. It has to do with perseverance.

Bad writers quit. Good writers keep going. That’s all there is to it.”

He goes on to say, “It’s not about writing in spurts of inspiration. It’s about doing the work, day-in and day-out.

“Good writers can do this because they believe in what they’re doing. They understand this is more than a profession or hobby. It’s a calling, a true vocation.”

I believe the latter is what I will take with me.  I do have a true calling and intend to hone my skills and hone my skills and know that I will never ever be perfect, but I will strive for perfection.  I will strive for a better way of conveying a thought, an

typewriter

image, colors.  That is what we are here to do, bringing the words alive to envelop our readers into the worlds we’ve invited them into.

What are your thoughts?  I’d love to hear them, if a writer, what compels you to show up and play with the formation of words?  If a reader, what tantalizes you, keeps you interested?  Do you go for the more flowery author, or do prefer it when someone is straight to the point.  Still having a way with words, but getting a better bang for their buck using the “less is more” mentality?

One thing Jeff does point out in his blog is to make a choice and choose to be different and choose to be good.  Make that extra edit.  Go that extra mile.  Show up and be consistent, don’t assume you’ve written your best work, because your best work has never been written yet.  This has been my philosophy about performing.  I’ve never felt as though I’ve learned everything I had to learn (once I did that, I knew I was sunk).  There was always another vocal technique to learn, always another breathing technique to learn.  Once you believe you’ve reached your best, what else do you have to strive for?  So, I guess I’ve answered my own questions.  It really doesn’t matter what anyone else says.  If constructive, it is always welcome, as I continue to strive to better myself.

 

 

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2 thoughts on “Am I What I Dream To Be? (how do we know?)

  1. I really enjoyed your post. I’m a write, and I write to please myself. First and foremost. As I’ve said before, if you’re not writing for yourself and not having fun, you’re doing it wrong. I feel like you write for the right reasons. Because it calls to you and you answer. Keep up the good word and strive for the best you can be.

    • Thanks for the kind words and the wonderful advice… that really is the be all and end of it – write for yourself is truly the answer, isn’t it? I appreciate meeting you and look forward to seeing you back.

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