I just got back from a fairly long journey and all was running well with my little car. I pulled into my little complex stopped by the mail boxes, turned on the hazard signals, went to get what was quite a bit of mail and proceeded to my parking space. I unloaded Frank Sinatra (my cockatiel) and the rest of our belongs and relaxed for the rest of the evening.
Next morning I worked a bit, had an appointment by 1:pm and marched my way down to my car clicked to unlock the door (no response). So, I used the key, then proceeded to place the key in the ignition, turned it and – blip – nothing. Not a sound! Oops! I believe I’ve left the blinkers on all night (would that be what drained my battery? I sure hope so…). And to make matters worse I managed to forget to ‘check’ the box to add Roadside Assistance onto my auto policy or to get AAA (what a dolt I am, huh?). It is at times like this when ‘singledom’ isn’t my favorite way of life.
I hate car trouble – always have. Car trouble to me is one of those annoyances that just drives me to drink – now we all know that I’ll drink to mourn the death of my house spider – but car trouble makes me especially angry. I think it goes back to the old days (pre-marriage) when I would get responses from mechanics like “whatcha gonna do about it?” Really, they would say that to me? As if holding my car hostage. Whereas, somehow I don’t believe they would ever say this to a man. Perhaps that’s what I miss about my marriage. My ex-husband would take care of all the car stuff. Now, don’t get me wrong, I used to tune up my Ford Pinto… changed my spark plugs and everything which was a real challenge on that V6. Because, half were covered with hoses (whew!).
I think this is why I hate car trouble and mechanics. It’s that misogynistic attitude that makes me CRAZY! “Well, what are you gonna do about it, babe?” After I already told them what was wrong with my vehicle, they made me pay for a scan that cost me close to $120.00 to find out what I already told them! I just know if I were a man, they would never had treated me that way.
They say that you can tell the true character of someone by how they handle the smallest of irritating situations. If that’s the case, my character must need much improvement. On the contrary, I really am a patient, kind and grateful person. I just don’t need the attitude thrown at me, that’s all.
So what does all this say about me? What do the car break-downs and plumbing problems and all around general break downs in life of the irritating sort, tell us about ourselves? Are they just an annoyance? Or are they for a higher purpose; meaning are they to teach us something – such as patience, faith (faith in ourselves and others), courage (courage to face whatever or whomever you need to in order to get through your issue).
It is quite funny when it comes to true tragedy – my sister’s cancer, my mother’s dementia, my fire – there’s no thought about it I just go on ‘autopilot’ with a smile on my face; in fact I can be downright cheerful (for their sake). But these little blips can leave me feeling so helpless; interesting. Maybe it has more to do with my needing help and having to trust that help than anything else. Not so much in the asking for that help – I’m learning that, but it’s in the trusting that the help I receive is with an open, honest and earnest heart.
Deep down I think this has been my issue, not trusting people – truly trusting those when I’m in need. Somehow I need to strike a balance, a balance between knowledge and trust in those with the knowledge. Where and when this all started? I do not know. But I’ve had issues as a child because the so-called ‘adults’ in my life weren’t entirely honest with me and, hence, the seeds of doubt were planted. Sound good? It could have happened… Oh, who knows, I only know I need to work on this and put on my “Big Girl Panties” and move forward.
So, here I sit, puzzled, confused and trying like the dickens to stay with positive thoughts. Positive thoughts have always helped me in manifesting the life I want and they continue to work daily. I continue on my meditation every morning and every evening; again, manifesting the life I intend to form for myself. Perhaps I should include “trust” in that manifestation. That might do the trick.
Seriously, how does one become more trusting, especially with mechanics and tow truck drivers? Is knowledge really all it takes? Or does a bit of attitude need to be in the mix? Would love to hear your opinion. Since this seems to be overflowing into my dating life, I do believe I need to nip this in the bud. I found some quotes to help place things into perspective.
“It is better to suffer wrong than to do it, and happier to be sometimes cheated than not to trust.”
Dr. Samuel Johnson (1709-1784);
Poet, Essayist, Lexicographer
“You can’t shake hands with a clenched fist.”
Indira Gandhi (1917-1984);
Prime Minister Of India
“You may be deceived if you trust too much, but you will live in torment if you don’t trust enough.”
Frank H. Crane (born 1912);
I will get to the bottom of this too… as I’ve done (am doing) with all my other “issues” – of what I have so many… (oy vey!). Regardless, peace is in the air and hope fills the space around me. I am tranquil and am learning each day. Still, I would love to hear from you… either by comment or through email, feel free.
- It’s a Trust Thing (brisaramirez.com)
- Trust (princesswarriorthoughts.wordpress.com)
- Study Finds That People Who Are Trusting by Nature More Likely to Enjoy Successful Relationships (prweb.com)
- Trust… (ajoyfulspirit4u.wordpress.com)