Ah! Finally, I’m moved into my new place and have that wonderful feeling of relief that comes when all is cleared and done. Already I’m meeting people, and they are so very wonderful! My apologies for not writing in such a long while, it has been a whirl wind of changes and things to do. I must say, I truly am a ‘small town girl’ at heart. I just love it here! My little terrier was having a bit of a stubborn streak when it came time for doing her ‘business’; but she finally came around. Now she, my bird – Frank Sinatra – and I are all nestled in our new home and are quite comfy.
Looking back, it is amazing the difference a year can make. This time last year I was still in shock over my fire and still drowning in the grief of Kimball’s death. Since then I’ve taken the time to heal, grow and allow myself to find ‘me’ again. That sassy girl who loves to laugh, loves a political fight and is filled with spit and vinegar. She’s finally back, I can safely say. All with the help of dear friends and an eight pound Westie Terrier mix named Tula. The best thing I did was adopt that little girl and can safely say that my life is complete! (Almost…)
Still, there is something missing and I believe I’m finally ready to date again. I’ve always known that there are two types of women, those who prefer to be single and those who prefer to be in a relationship. As independent as I am, I’ve always found myself in the latter of those two groupings. My sister Elizabeth, however, now she is in the first group… Independent, single, never married and straight. So many like to label women like her by saying, “she must be gay…” What, pray tell, is so wrong with a woman (or man for that matter) choosing to stay single, living alone and happy? It just so happens that, although I find nothing wrong with being single (rather like it at times), it’s just not the lifestyle of choice for me.
No, if I had my choice, it would be with a partner. Someone who could finish my sentences, knows my likes and dislikes. Someone to share my bed and to share my coffee with me in the morning; and just ‘be’ with in our off hours. Someone with whom I could laugh with over the most absurd things. And someone with whom I could be in the same room and be still, silent; knowing that simply being in our own company was ‘enough’. I miss that. I miss having that companionship; that ‘special someone’ that I could spend the rest of my life with. Someone I could be with the rest of my life (or at least the better part of my life)…
Companionship; what does that mean? I sit here and watch my dog as she chases her tail on my new corduroy white couch and wonder “What is she thinking?” Or, perhaps this show is for me? (will that couch truly withstand her rants?) She truly is a wonder as she runs from the couch to the chair ottoman, to the window, back to the ottoman and to the couch; and, at these moment I realize, I truly am blessed to have her. But, companionship is more than that of the ‘ownership’ of a dog or cat; it is the dual friendship or a ‘lovership’ (if you will) with another person. Somebody who can like/love you for you. Someone who can appreciate you for your humor/ your jokes. I must say (if you would forgive me for repeating myself) I miss that.
I have joined a local group – a Ukulele group; and am learning to play. And you know something? I LOVE it! I do believe that in time, I’ll be able to accompany myself. Never would I have thought I’d have the talent to play an instrument. It is funny how the Universe works; I’ve been sent to these Foothills and have finally found peace. I’ve found wonderful new friends and an easy life. You know the kind? The kind of life that can only come from a small town. It is glorious. I met someone the other night in my Uke group who asked “why in the world would you move here?” To which I responded, “I LOVE it!” It is something I’ve always wanted and have been given the privilege to make the move. It is glorious to be among such history and such glorious people.
Everything is falling in order and I’ve found my best friend (myself)… Now, onto the next step in my journey – my new love… All in good time. God (or the Universe) will provide. And all in good time. For now, I thank all of you who continue to follow me and to read my writings… I appreciate you and getting to know you… I encourage you to write me (email below…) I’m finally back and will keep up my writings. It’s wonderful to be in such a place as this – I’m grateful for it all and for the past struggles… without them, I wouldn’t be who I am today.