There are times in our lives when we realize it really does pay off to live with a partner, or to at the very least, have an ’emergency partner’. Someone we can rely upon for heavy lifting, help with heavy yard work, or trips to the hospital. The other day I suffered from one of the worst migraines in many, many months; I probably should have gone to emergency… but, how do I get there? I’m no longer in a community that has ‘taxi-cab’ service, and really am not justified to call an ambulance… So, here I am with my dog Tula, who seemed very worried as she didn’t leave my side all day, and my cockatiel Frank Sinatra whose singing, by the way, I could have lived without.
Then I got to thinking, why of all the wonderful times in my life am I getting this doozy of a migraine NOW? I’m happy, truly happy! Sleep has been a bit hard and I’ve taken the advice of our wonderful Bing Crosby who sang:
“When I’m worried and I can’t sleep
I count my blessings instead of sheep
And I fall asleep counting my blessings
When my bankroll is getting small
I think of when I had none at all
And I fall asleep counting my blessings”
There is something very soothingly true in those lyrics. I find that when I count all that I have as opposed to all that I don’t, I wake up with a far better view of my life. True, there is still so much that I want to fulfill in my life and so many dreams I wish to come true. Many of my dreams have; I’m singing and performing, I’ve connected with the local theatre and can’t wait to audition or even work on their productions. I’m writing and researching a series of new novels to work on that will be about my family (believe it or not I have a rich and luscious history dating back to 1634!). So why these sick head-aches? Perhaps it is the relief I feel as I’m embarking on this new life. They say that we can be so tense for a time that once we relax, the blood vessels release and the migraine hits – POW!
As I continue to count my blessings I’m reminded that today marks Kimball’s birthday – another milestone and as I start this day, instead of the heavy feeling of grief, I feel love and joy over having had this wonderful spirit in my life. It warms me to know that that long winter of grief – those cold, foggy, sometimes icy or sleety days/months are now a season of the past. I’ve passed through that winter, into spring and am now into the lovely warmth of summer, with the wonderful memory of my dear sister warming my face. I will be celebrating her life as I make her favorite birthday food this weekend and open her favorite bottle of champagne. Possibly an odd tradition to many of you, but one that I find peace in as I do this to celebrate my mother as well…
With all the ‘ugly’ in the world – I love to be able to focus on all that is beautiful in life – especially my life. That is what is important after all. I mean, the way we can change the world is one thought at a time, focusing on our blessings – focusing on what we want; as opposed to what we don’t want. The migraines will continue, unfortunately – however, hopefully not quite as severe in future as I continue down this wonderful path of “summer” and content with the grass on this side of my fence.
Happy Birthday Kimball – I will forever Love and remember you with all my heart…
The sauntering alone
Is a divine intemperance
A prudent man would shun.
Of liquors that are vended
‘Tis easy to beware
But statutes do not meddle
With the internal bar.
Pernicious as the sunset
Permitting to pursue
But impotent to gather,
The tranquil perfidy
Alloys our firmer moments
With that severest gold
Convenient to the longing
But otherwise withheld.