Karma? Or simply LIFE?

I’ve been asking myself this question oh, so many times these past few days… looking it up, asking, “can I change this?”  Until finally I decided…

noun: karma
  1. (in Hinduism and Buddhism) the sum of a person’s actions in this and previous states of existence, viewed as deciding their fate in future existences.
    • informal
      destiny or fate, following as effect from cause.


Karma (Sanskrit: कर्म; IPA: [ˈkərmə]; Pali: kamma) means action, work or deed;[1] it also refers to the principle of causality where intent and actions of an individual influence the future of that individual.[2] Good intent and good deed contribute to good karma and future happiness, while bad intent and bad deed contribute to bad karma and future suffering.[3][4] Karma is closely associated with the idea of rebirth in some schools of Asian religions.[5] In these schools, karma in the present affects one’s future in the current life, as well as the nature and quality of future lives – or, one’s saṃsāra.[6]

With origins in ancient India, it is a key concept in Hinduism, Buddhism, Jainism, Sikhism,[7] and Taoism.[8]  [wikapedia]

Karma – So many believe, is all-powerful and then there are many that do not; in fact many don’t believe in the concept of life after death, Heaven, Hell, or Reincarnation, for that matter.  I wish I didn’t; in fact, I wish I could easily say I were an Atheist and not believe in anything or any of the above at all!  But I can’t, I know that far beyond what our minds can see or conceptualize, there is a massive Universe of energy that we are a part of.   I know this because I simply do… no explanation necessary.  In some religions they are simple in the mindset that if you do “wrong” – you go to a place endowed by flames and is filled with souls that had gone astray before you.  The Concierge of this place, they say, was a part of God’s Heavenly Kingdom and was thrown out.  So, in a sense, the contract states, “Do wrong and go to Hell.  Unless…” (Oh, the wonderful loop-hole) you confess your sins and ask for forgiveness.  Then, apparently, you are absolved!  (Woo Hoo!).

If only it were that simple, or is it?  We as a society, spend thousands, if not millions of dollars for the ultimate key to happiness and the condition of having a lifetime full of it.  Is Karma real?  What about Hell?  Is there, in fact, a place, or Abyss where all the ‘lost souls’ of the Universe go to for an eternity of soul wrenching torture, torment and agony?

I’m not so sure I believe in any of that nonsense anymore.  There are beliefs that I have (many are topics for other posts), but I just CANNOT believe that we are to be sent here, or anywhere, to be tortured for a day, a week, a month, a year or an eternity, simply because we went left instead of right without a lesson.  And even if that were true, agony isn’t something that I believe would EVER be wished on us.  It just doesn’t make any spiritual sense.

As you know I’ve been going through a great many changes of late.  I could say that it was  my sister’s death that started me down the rabbit hole.  But it actually started much earlier.  I’m finally coming to grips with my grief and am very happy that I’ve come back to my LOVE, Doug.  But there is this thing we must deal with in life called “Change” that I  must get used to.  And I don’t like it; no, I don’t like it one bit.  Friends coming and going (for no reason at all… just “poof!”  Their out of your life).  Your favorite doughnut shop closing (now that can put anyone into a spin…).  But change is the devil and I’m just not sure I’ll ever get used to it.

One thing I’ve noticed, as I’ve gone through the losses, is that I’ve gotten a much better grasp on what is the “uncontrollable” – you know the old famous prayer?  “God grant me the serenity to accept the things a cannot change, to change the things I can and the wisdom to know the difference.”

After deciding to reunite with Doug, he suffered a massive stroke back in January.  For the most part he is alright, but he won’t be able to drive again, or work again (he was in construction and his business making six figures); what’s worse is that his memory is deteriorating.  My fear?  He will be getting Dementia.  We are working hard for that not to happen as there are exercises for the brain (which he fights doing) and great medications… still the fear is there.  But – “grant me the serenity to ACCEPT the things I cannot change” rings in my mind.

There are many days that are good days.  He’s been great about  using our rapid transit system, which is walk-able for him and he does it with little mumbling (he sounds just like that old bear on that cartoon when I was a child…).  We are taking everything one day (literally one day) at a time (well, I am… he still has days of ramble.. and I listen).  Still, there are those days where he will get so frustrated that it seems the only way he can show his independence is to argue… to get upset or pick at me over something… Anything, really.

It is at these times where I realize that it doesn’t make sense to get angry… because it isn’t him.  The best I can do is to take a break, sit on the back deck.  Be honest with him by letting him know he’s being an old poop… at which time he will usually follow me out, sit next to me, take my hand and just sit with me and our three dogs.  It is at this time that I know… – “and the wisdom to know the difference.”


So, needless to say, for the past few weeks I’d been crying and carrying on with friends and family thinking that I must have done something HUGE to deserve such a horrible turn of events  to have happened.  We can’t pay our rent, are having issues with other bills, food, etc… I finally got moved out of my other apartment, the only friend that would help me?   My friend Melody – out of EVERYBODY I know…  it truly is amazing what happens when you are trying to get help to move; quite comical really, just what excuses come up.  And that took us three truck loads and ended up costing over eight hundred dollars.  I know, I should have just hired someone.  (Live and learn).  Anyway, my point being, I was so sick by the end of that move, I was down for over a week – could barely lift my head.  But I think that that was what it  took for me to see – “the courage to accept the things I cannot change and the wisdom to know the difference.”

I finally got it!  And lo and behold, calls started coming in – we are still broke, but not for long.  Things that puzzled me in the past (like those darn cover letters?  Oh, I hated those), no longer a problem.

So, I’m not sure about Karma, or Hell, or any of that “bad stuff” – I believe that LIFE happens to all of us and if we keep fighting what is happening and fretting over what might happen?  We will never be happy.  I choose to be happy with my LOVE regardless, and cherish him today, tonight, tomorrow and every day til death separates us.  I can’t change his health, but I can help to make his time left on this planet the best, with each kiss, each moment we make love and with each night we watch and gaze at the stars.



2 thoughts on “Karma? Or simply LIFE?

  1. Just wanted to stop by and say, I hope you have a wonderful Easter and the weekend will have some pleasant surprises and time spent with family. I am far behind in reading but do see you in my Reader now! Smiles!

    • Thank you my Friend! Life has had its hills and valleys and not without its challenges. All we can do is sit back and look at all that is created and be in awe, smile and hopefully we can share some of those moments. I wish you the same… a wonderful Easter filled with family and friends and, if nothing more than simply gazing at the beauty God has given us. So blessed to have gotten to know you through this blog…

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